COUPLES & MARRIAGE COUNSELING
You’ve been trying to ignore it, but deep down, you know your relationship isn’t what it used to be.
Before, you made time for each other and your relationship was more of a priority. Now, the commitments and pressures of life are getting in the way and you’re slowly drifting apart. Even when you are together, you’re not really connecting and it feels like you’ve been living more like roommates than lovers.
Some days, you feel like you’re navigating an emotional minefield. You’re struggling to communicate with your partner – or afraid that if you do speak up, you’ll be criticized, dismissed, or even worse, rejected.
Or maybe you’ve both agreed that things aren’t working, but any effort you’ve made to change things simply doesn’t last.
If this is where you find yourself right now, there is hope – no matter how depressing, daunting or scary the road ahead may seem.
Even if you’re feeling alone and vulnerable because your partner is emotionally absent or no longer understands you…
Even if nothing you do is “right” or “good enough” and you’re constantly walking on eggshells, trying not to set off an argument or more criticism…
And, even if your relationship is peaceful and ‘comfortable’, but lacking any intimacy, passion or spark…
You CAN turn things around to create a deeper bond with your partner and a relationship that’s filled with intimacy, respect and love.
Couples counseling may help if…
You’d like to learn positive ways to communicate with your partner.
You want to be able to share your honest thoughts and feelings with your partner, without being worried about how they will react.
You want a deeper, more emotional connection.
You are longing to feel like your partner has your back.
You’d like to rekindle your intimacy and stop living like roommates.
You’d like to rebuild trust and move forward after infidelity.
You want to make a mediocre relationship GREAT!
You deserve to feel loved and supported in your relationship
My goal in couples therapy is to help you create a relationship based on love, trust, and respect.
I will help to create a safe space where you can take an honest look at the struggles in your relationship and find ways to get unstuck. It is also a place where you can feel heard and understood so that you can take positive steps forward together.
In our sessions, I’ll help you to communicate effectively and have conversations that lead to insights and understanding. Conversations that may be tricky to have (or simply wouldn’t happen!) on your own.
Through this process, you will gain invaluable insight into the ways you both create – and perpetuate – negative patterns of interaction and how to change them.
You’ll also learn about yourself more fully and how you show up or don’t show up emotionally in your relationship. We’ll explore the core issues that underly how you evolved into the partner you are today, so we can understand what works and what doesn’t.
“Love is a constant process of tuning in, connecting, missing and misreading cues, disconnecting, repairing, and finding deeper connection. It is a dance of meeting and parting and finding each other again. Minute to minute. And day to day.”
– Dr. Sue Johnson, Founder of EFT
Here’s what you can expect in couples and marriage counseling
The first step is for us to get to know each other. You’ll experience what a therapy session at my practice feels like and determine if we are a good fit moving forward. This is also an opportunity for me to gather background information about you, your goals and what you would like to get out of therapy.
Session 2 & 3
During these two sessions, you and your partner will meet with me individually, so we can get to know each other as individuals and discuss your attachment history. This helps us understand the ways your earliest experiences continue to impact your current relationship.
Session 4 & Beyond
In the following weeks, you, your partner and I will delve into the patterns you have co-created and how these routines keep you stuck in negative interactions. We’ll work to increase the communication and connection skills between you, and make great strides towards your shared relationship goals.
Frequentely Asked Questions
Is it too late to save my relationship or marriage?
It’s very normal to wonder if you can get back what you once had together after all of the painful arguments, hurt feelings, and betrayals. You and/or your partner may not believe that therapy can help, and I understand.
That said, I encourage you to consider couples counseling anyway. When there is little left to lose, you can be more open and honest with yourself and your partner. This can create an opportunity for real change and healing to begin.
In my experience, people don’t regret giving couples therapy a chance but they do sometimes regret not doing everything they could to repair their marriage or relationship.
And, yes, sometimes it is too late. However, clients have told me that even though therapy may not have saved their relationship, they left with a better understanding of themselves, which will help with future relationships.
What if my partner will not come to couples counseling with me?
First, please assure your partner that couples counseling is not about blame or finger pointing. Instead, it is a safe place where each of you can be heard and understood so you can create positive, lasting changes in your relationship.
If your partner refuses couples counseling, you may want to consider individual relationship therapy to change what you can change. If your partner sees you making changes, they may be more willing to try couples counseling or individual therapy.
What makes you different from other couples therapists?
As you look for a therapist, please keep in mind that not all counselors or therapists have received specialized training in couples counseling.
As a licensed marriage and family therapist, my background includes three years of graduate training specifically focused on working with couples and families. I also have advanced training in Emotionally Focused Therapy, the most empirically validated couples therapy model to date.
My role is to provide the expertise, tools and positive space you need so that you and your partner can move beyond the hurts and distance between you, and feel more hopeful about your future together.
My partner had an affair. Is there any hope?
As painful as it can be, infidelity does not have to mean that a relationship is doomed.
When we take an honest look at why the affair occurred – infidelity is usually a symptom of deeper problems in the relationship – it’s possible to learn and grow from the experience.
While some couples can’t get past the hurt, there are many others who have gone on to have a better, more deeply connected relationship.
It takes time, honesty and forgiveness but it definitely can be done, and I can help you get to a place of peace and hope.
What if my relationship isn't really broken?
Therapy is not only for couples who are in crisis, but for those who want a partnership that’s as healthy and fulfilling as possible.
As you’ve probably realized, relationships grow and evolve over time…so pretty much anyone can benefit from a “tune-up.”
If you’re curious to see how you can make your relationship even better, let’s talk!
Ready to take the next step?
Let’s connect with a free, 20-minute phone consultation.
I’ll answer any questions you may have so you can decide if therapy with me is a good fit.
It’s the first step in your journey to feeling better and living life fully.